The tune is stuck in your head now too aint it?!
So tomorrow is the day that i officially become a mermaid. . .YUP tomorrow is surgery day!!. . .just joking tho, I’m not really having mermaid surgery. . .just part 1 of my Transformer transformation, a derivational femoral osteotomy over a femoral nail if you must know!! Whatever you do tho, DONT google it. . .i bet you did, didn’t you?! Did you have a little bit of sick? I haven’t googled it for that pure reason, in fact i haven’t googled anything to do with my surgery other than what my brace will look like and that was gross enough!!
I’ve been given clear fasting instructions for tomorrow, so today I’m gonna eat EVERYTHING, ill turn into a food monster as I’m not allowed to eat anything after 7.30am tomorrow and I’m not entirely sure what time my surgery is nor how long it will take. . .unless i HAVE been told and I’ve just been typical me and it went in 1 ear and out the other. . . so it could be dinner time before i wake up then who knows if or what or how much ill be allowed to eat after surgery. . .6am fry up it is!! Thankfully I’m allowed to drink water, but only until 11.30am, ill have a throat and mouth like a sand dune!! Ill be the perfect person for those super soaker adverts “WHO WANTS WATER!?!?!?” (totally forgot how to spell water then. . .thought it was warter. . .damn American accents) and id be there lying in my hospital bed with a bunch of people with super soaker guns drenching me to ‘quench my thirst’.
The hardest thing is knowing what to pack, firstly, I’m booked in for 3 days but could end up staying longer, so how many knickers do i need to pack?! Will i be learning to walk in my jammies or will i be strong enough to get changed and learn to walk in my trackie bottoms? Will i be allowed to wear trackie bottoms so soon after my surgery or am i only allowed to wear shorts? Can i pack a bit of makeup so I’m looking majestic? Just a little bit of mascara? COS last time i had surgery i wasn’t allowed any makeup or nail polish cos it messed with the magneticness in the machines and if I’m going in and out of rooms for tests and exams all day the answer to my question will be no (ill pack it just incase). . .I feel like ill be packing enough to go on holiday for 2 weeks, I’m even packing a bikini incase I’m allowed to take a shower with the help of someone, and obvs i don’t want them seeing my boobies or lady parts!! A bonus about this surgery is that I’ve brought some super cute baggie jammie bottoms that ima wear as my day to day clothes. . .i feel like i winner being allowed to wear jammies in public, like I’ve won an award. . .I’ve passed the test, passed go and collected £200 to enable me to wear jammies in public 🙂
I feel like i should pimp up my crutches with stickers and crap like that as thats what i tend to do with everything. . .my laptop being one of them, all blue and covered in stickers of all sorts. . .but then i need to remember that ill be 24 in 3 weeks, NOT 4 so its not as cute/acceptable to do such a thing, AND i know people will just be jelly about how awesome i look with my pimped out crutches, so ill leave them plain, normal and boring so theres no jealousy or haters 😦
I’ve just set up my camera to ‘document’ my leg surgery/progression, starting from today as today is the last day ever that my legs will be like this, no more knocked knees for me!! Ill finally be able to wear trousers for longer as the knees won’t wear away after a few months of being worn!! The most interesting photos will be once I’ve got my leg brace on, i could make a flip book to speed up the process of watching my leg slowly turn and twist into the desired position that Mr Surgeon Man wants. . .i say the desired position as I’ve grown quite fond of my knocked knees over the last 23 years. . .it makes people mega LOL watching me fall over myself. . .AND i walk like a model (sometimes), 1 foot in front of the other as if I’m always walking on a rope. . .i KNEW i was meant to run away with the circus!! I could have been the ultimate tightrope walker, i almost went to circus college. . .instead i went to art college. . .samer damer. . .almost. . .
Best go and start packing!!