Being a Mermaid is hard work

Right now I’m feeling all Godly (Godessly?!). . .so Godly that I’m practically Hercules mother. . .or Poseidons wife being all mermaidey. . .but with the speed of my recovery and learning how to walk and mastering the stairs again there should be a bronze statue of me in my town, just like the Statue of Liberty in New York, but the Statue of Emily, and it’d go right in the center. . .or maybe on the beach and instead of sculpting my legs and or crutches, lets just give me mermaid tail. . .deal , lets put the Statue of Emily somewhere near the Pier so its nice and central and it will be the top tourist attraction in the world EVER cos ill be looking all majestic and whatnot.

So I’ve officially been home for 1 week now and i feel like i had my surgery AGES ago as i never expected to be this ‘mobile’ so soon after!! Theres a whole list the length of the tallest man in the world full of pros and cons with “Life After Surgery” but i needn’t bother you with that in this blog. . .ill save that for another rainy day 🙂

Progression session –

Friday 24th January – Left my hospital room to have my surgery at the hour of 2pm in the afternoon, hop topic during the walk and injections was Nandos. . .standard!
Saturday – Had my first lot of X-rays, got taken off my pain killer drip that i was in control of (but only used once), then with great help, got out of bed, stood up and shuffled forward 3 steps with great pain. . .IT’S SOMETHING!!
Sunday – Once i knew that i could stand up (with a tone of support and help) i was adamant that i would try walking again, AND I DID!! All the way out of the room and back again, i felt like a champion as it meant no more bed pan for me! I could be normal and use the loo!!
Monday – I wanted to give up on everything this day so i let myself sleep in till 9, and then woke up to find out that i was going home IF i could walk up the stairs. . .i literally ran out of my room. . .just kidding, i can’t run yet. . .i can’t even walk without my crutches. . .anyways, i mastered those stairs like i was an astronaut going into space. . .got home and was in bed by 6.30pm.
Friday 31st – First visit back to hospital for my physical therapy and i saw my X-ray, no word of a lie i swear my jaw hit the floor, i honestly thought that the rod in my leg was screwed onto the outside of my bone, but NO, the rod is INSIDE my bone, 2 nails above my knee to keep the rod in place and another nail just under my hip WHICH BY THE WAY the surgeon semi snapped my bone in order to fit the rod and twist my leg. . .no wonder why i have to learn to walk all over again!!

The upside of having to learn to walk all over again (kinda) is that you can only do so much in the day without it feeling like you’ve just ran a marathon and so you get to sit on your arse most of the day. . .the downside is that you get a numb bum and feel super guilty cos you have to rely upon your dad and sister to bring you cups of tea and meals as your hands are pre-occupied with crutches. I get to wear these lovely knee length surgical socks to avoid blood clots and verrucas veins ALL day EVERY day for the next 2 weeks all whilst not being able to wear trousers. . .I’m totally making a fashion statement with hairy legs (cos i can’t bend down enough to shave them without hurting my leg), long surgical socks, theres only 1 pair of shoes that i can get on/will fit at the moment and thats my costume tech work shoes, luckily i hit the jackpot and brought me some black vans for the role and then THANKFULLY i have cute skirts and dresses to wear so i at least look half decent!!

Got me another physical therapy session this wednesday, the aim of the game is to be able to bend my knee at a 90 degree angle comfortably before surgery number 2 and so far I’m rocking a 45 degree angle.


2 thoughts on “Being a Mermaid is hard work

  1. Hey, I’ve just applied for DCL and your blog is absolutely amazing! So sorry to hear about what happened to you but you seem like a fighter and will be back onboard in no time..! All the best xx

    • awww huge thanks!! 🙂
      good luck with your DCL application, you’ll have the best time EVER!!! i miss work SOOOO much!!! what department have you applied for? xx

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